


I Got a Fire in my Soul and it's Keeping me Alive

by Baskervillehound1864



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Blood, Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt Finn, Hurt/Comfort, Leia is pretty much just mom to poe and finn, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Recovery, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6712312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baskervillehound1864/pseuds/Baskervillehound1864
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Resistance plans an attack on a small First Order outpost on Hezabor a small jungle planet. Finn decides to accompany the small group infiltrating the outpost despite Poe asking him not to go. The company is ambushed and most are killed, while a few are taken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Ransom a Man's Soul

**Author's Note:**

> So now looking at the description I've just created something I'll have to finish now, I wanted it to be a one-shot but now I'm actually thinking something longer, whoops thats what happens when you come up with a plot at 4 am. Whoops.

   A bead of sweat drips down the side of his face and quickly rushes down, dripping of the bottom of his chin. It was hot and humid and the only noises that could be heard were the deep breaths of the small company, the sticks snapping under their boots, and the miscellaneous birds squawking and warbling above the jungle’s canopy. 

“This sucks man” Shilo said earning himself many glares. It had been his idea to land many miles from the First Order’s outpost hoping it would give them the element of surprise. Shilo being a native of Hezabor had said this would be the best way to attack seeing that the jungle’s canopy was to wild and thick to fly anything through.

“Your an asshole” Keeva muttered under her breath but the whole group seemed to hear it anyway and chuckled. Walking for two hours in silence seemed to be catching up to the crew because they started getting more chatty the longer the walk persisted. After a while Melinda started to gossip, she leaned her body toward Shilo and Christian.

“Did you know that one of the medic droids mis-” 

       Finn would never know what she was gonna spill about a certain medic droid because a red light shot through her chest and she collapsed instantly. Like Finn, the rest of the crew didn't seem to register what had happened until it was too late and a dozen Stormtroopers surrounded them all pointing their weapons at them. One of them stepped forward,

“Drop your weapons and we will spare you.” Finn recognized the man as JE-1465. He had been one of his instructors as a child. He remembered his harsh voice yelling at them when they stepped out of line. The company looked around trying to find an escape, there was none. With a puff, Christian, Keeva, and Finn put down they're weapons. The three looked at Shilo who looked horrible. Another Stormtrooper stepped forward and tossed a small bag at Shilo. He bent to pick it up and opened it. Inside were several silver coins. He saluted the man who'd tossed it and speed off. Of course.

“You monster!” Keeva screamed in the direction he sped off to. She looked almost pained. It took almost everything in Finn not to scream the same. The men grabbed Keeva as she trashed earning her a whack to the head. The others grabbed Finn and Christian plunging a shock baton in their stomach and leaving them unconscious.

      --------

       General Organa looked up from the map on the the table and turned to see Shilo rush in in a panic face drained pale.

“They're dead, they're all dead.”

    ---------

   JE-1465 walks in with an unconscious and bloody Christian and practically throws him in his cell. JE then turns to Finn. He knows what's next, but he still isn't gonna make it any easier for him. JE opens the cell and grabs him by his arm, gripping so tight he feels like his bones are being crushed to dust. Finn's dragged down the immaculate white hallways to a secluded room. It’s not the first time he's been in this room and it certainly won't be the last time either. Its been weeks since Shilo had betrayed them. Even now he still couldn't understand his betrayal. Shilo was their friend. They had trusted him. JE pushed Finn in the dark dingy room that smelled of blood and burnt flesh. The two other stormtroopers grabbed Finn’s arms and hooked him on to the table. Straps closed tightly around his wrists and ankles. JE walks over to the table and looks down at Finn.

“I'm sorry I haven't been to see you in the past week I had other matters to attend to. I do hope DK-7190 was an acceptable replacement.” Finn responds with silence.

“I have received new orders from Kylo Ren himself. You are to be punished for your betrayal to the First Order and returned to recondioning after you've been broken. And let me tell you,” JE leans close to Finn's face, so close he can feel his breath on his face. “No man has left my care whole.” He pulled back and motioned for the instrument tray. It arrives at his side and he plucks a small scalpel from it. He holds the blade up to the light and looks at it like seeing an old friend. With joy. No matter how many times Finn goes under his knife he seems to always forget how much it hurts. But he won't break. He will never break. He has lived in the First Orders hands too long for him to go back. He thinks of Poe. He thinks that maybe he should have listened, he had nothing to prove and Poe knew it. He just wished he'd believed it as well.

\----------

_      “You can't go!” Poe pleaded with him once they had reached their shared quarters. Finn closes the door behind him. “I already told the General I'm going, so I'm going.” It hurt him to see Poe so upset but he had to do this, he had to.  _

_ “You don't need to go on this one, the next one, we'll go together!” Finn saw what he was doing. _

_ “Why won't you let me go alone for once?” he said sincerely. _

_ “I….I…” Pie slumped on to the bed and looked at the floor. Finn went to sit next to him, putting his head on Poe's shoulder. _

_ “Last time one of our troops went to Hezabor they didn't come back.” He admitted. “I can't risk losing you, like I almost did to Kylo Ren.” _

_ “You won't lose me stupid, I'm too stubborn to die.” At that Poe chuckled a bit. “It will be okay, I'll come back. I promise.” Poe looked at Finn searching his eyes for any hint of a lie. _

_ “Okay.” he finally said. Finn went to his knees on the floor and pulled Poe into a kiss. _

_ \--------------- _

         Keeva didn't come back. Christian's incessant hope we would be saved was gone just like his arm. Nobody was coming. He knew that now. After months of torture he finally broke. He barely ate the crumbs they fed them anymore, he started to look more like a skeleton then Finn. He started to rot there. After about another week Christian stopped talking and just mumbled in his corner of the cell, making strange motions with his remaining hand. Finn had resigned to just go to sleep and never wake up. But as he closed his eyes he heard something.

_ “I'll come back. I promise.” _

     Poe. He'd almost forgotten. How could he forget? Just then a large boom shook the ground. He bolted upright as fast as he could with his sick body. Dust fell through the crack in the ceiling. He looked over to Christian who seemed to start  remembering he was alive still and slowly, he looked around. Another boom hit again but this time it was at the main entrance to the cell block. He crawled over to the door of the cell only to meet the eyes of the one and only Poe Dameron.


	2. Is There Truly A Thing Called Hope?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's POV from when Finn leaves to when he finds him in the cell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you like it, I've had a shit day but I really tired so...

          Poe stood in outside along with some of the soldiers to wave Finn and the others off. The ship slowly lifted off the ground and jetted out of the planet. Soon the others trickled off and left Poe standing alone on the launch zone. Poe had a shit feeling about all this, but Finn had promised he would come back, and he believed him. 

    Days had passed and they still hadn't come back. His worrying increased tenfold everyday Finn didn't return. It became so bad that General Organa relieved him of his duty and told him to go rest. He hardly had enough to protest. Now that he had nothing to focus on it was worse. He couldn't help his mind from going to horrible places. He sat there thinking of every which way Finn could be killed. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but he cried a lot, he couldn't help it. A knock at the door brought him back to reality. He had no energy to answer it so he just yelled “come in” at the door. The door opened and in walked Rey. She entered quietly as if he were asleep and she didn't want to wake him. He sat up and looked over to her as she sat in the red leather chair by the wall.

“He’ll be fine you know.” She said sympathy laden in her voice.

“Yeah… I know.” he muttered back. She gave him a look up and down.

“You look horrible.”

“Thanks, one can only try” he said bitterly.

“That's not what I mean. I only thou-” the door being thrown open interrupted Rey. Jona rushes in and yells they're back with such excitement it looked like it almost hurt his face. His sister had died last time a group was sent there. He could sense their arrival helped cheer him up. The news slapped big grins on both Poe and Rey’s face and they ran out of the room like little children. That feeling was short lived as they entered the main area. He saw the gaggle of people gathered around the central table, their faces grim. Jonah saw the group as well and his smile melted of his face like Poe and Rey’s. Poe searched the crowd for Finn's beautiful face, but only ended up making eye contact with the General. She looked at him and shook her head grimly. He lied. He said he would come back and he lied. His legs didn't seem to want to work anymore. He sat on the cold concrete floor. All sound in the rooms seemed to muffle then stop altogether. Everyone stopped their murmuring and looked in Poe's direction on the floor. The look of pity slathered on their faces. He'd seen the look before and he'd hoped he would never have had to again. So Finn really is dead then. Gone just like that. He didn't stay for any details he just got up and left. Turning around the corner he could hear once more and that's when he heard Rey’s wails. They hadn't been looking at him they'd been looking at her. That somehow made it worse. After locking himself in his room he curled up on his bed and sobbed. It felt like his whole body was being stabbed with needles and his breaths didn't seem to do much. He started shaking and the tears wouldn't stop streaming. He blacked out.

\-----------

     He woke up with tears streaming down his face. He didn't know how one body could contain so much water. He didn't know what to do anymore. He decided to zone out and begin his regular morning routine. ~~Wake up Finn, kiss his nose~~ , get dressed, brush teeth, ~~hold Finn's hand on the way to breakfast~~. Upon entering the kitchens he saw everyone start staring at him. So he just backed up and went back the way he came. He decided he wasn't hungry anyway. He went back to his room. He didn't come out.

\----------

After almost a week the General came to his door. She had seen to it that someone came and brought him food twice a day, since he decided to not leave his room. She knocked then entered seconds later. She sat on edge of his bed. She reached her hand down and brushed his hair out of his eyes. She really was a mom to everyone.

“How are you?” She asked.

“That's a stupid question.” He replied.

“Sorry…” She trailed off. “Rey left today. I told her not to but she said she needed to clear her head. I think she'll be alright she's got Chewy with her.”

“Yeah.” Poe was sorta mad she left without him. But he assumed it was due to the fact he wasn't good company at the moment. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.

“Not really.” 

“I understand, but it helps to vent, not just bottle it up and stop functioning.” They stayed in silence for a few minutes until Poe asked,

“What happened, like details?”

“I don't know if that would help.” She looked warry.

“Just tell me… Please.”

“Fine.” She sort of fixed her posture before she told the story. “Well...Shilo said that they had landed near the compound and started the approach from the ground. They walked slowly towards the outpost but it seemed like the First Order already knew they were there and Melinda was shot first. A small battle took place between a dozen or so stormtroopers  and Christian went down, then Keeva. All that was left was Shilo and… Finn,” she said his name warily unsure of how it would affect him. “ Finn took Shilo’s hand and they raced back to the ship but Finn was shot down. Shi-”

“How was he killed?”

“Poe..” 

“How was he killed!?”

“Shilo said he was shot in the head.” She stated grimly. He clenched his fist.

“How did Shilo leave?”

“He made it back to the ship and flew home.” She wrapped up. Maybe it was because he was looking for any excuse to not let Finn be dead, but he saw holes in the story.

“Shilo isn't even a pilot how did he even fly the ship, let alone start it. Also the stormtroopers would have tried to shot him out of the sky, how did he dodge all the lazers?” He was out of breath. He wanted it all to be a lie. That Finn had just skipped off to Tatooine or something and was alive and well.

“I don't know. You'll have to ask him yourself.”

“Hmpf” he hated that answer. He wanted her to have a nice explanation for everything. For why sleezbag Shilo got to live and Finn didn't. It wasn't fair and he couldn't help repeating  _ “it isn't fair”  _ over and over in his head.

\---------

After a few more weeks Poe started to come out of his room to go get meals and race back to his room exclusively. Another week after that he actually started sitting in the cafeteria. A week after that he started responding to his friends. He never cracked a smile though, never laughed at any of his friends jokes. Two months later Rey returned and rushed to his room. She had went to Luke seeking advice, and had meditated for many days. She came upon an epiphany:  _ Finn wasn't dead. _

Of course he was. He accepted it now. She had to as well. Her rehashing all the denial he had worked past made him angry.

“Stop lying he's dead stop lying!”

“Poe,” she threw her hands up in defense. “I saw it.”

“You saw a delusion, he is never coming back and you need to accept it. He's dead he's….. deadhesdeadhesdeadhesdead….” He trails off.

“Poe, look at me!” She demanded. He snapped out of his sorrow.

“What?” He growled low.

“He  **is** alive. The force has shown me. We must convince the General to let us bring him back.”

“Don't lie, is he?” He's so dumb why would he even ask that, of course he was dead. He couldn't have just wasted two months crying and not doing anything while Finn has been alive. He couldn't.

“He is, I swear it.” She confirmed his inaction. He grimaced and looked at his feet.

“Fine, I'll help. But you have to tell her she'll think I'm begging out of grief.” She nodded sadly.

\---------

     Too bad the General had stepped out to help survivors of the Hosnian System. In her place she appointed, Sivaan Morne, her second. He was sympathetic to him and Rey but agreed with the rest of the men and women that Finn was dead. When that didn't work he tried stealing a ship, but Rey stopped him saying the two of them wouldn't be enough against an entire outpost. Rey was smart. So over the next month she rallied people to join her and Poe’s mission. With their new support they returned to Sivaan but he still said no. He might have tried to steal another ship if the General had been gone one more day.

“I came with news.” Leia said. The General beckoned Poe and Rey to her. “While I was away I met an inhabitant of Hazabor who saw the battle from the tree's. Apparently three people were taken captive. Poe, Finn may very well be alive.” She looked at him with hope. Now he knew for sure that Finn was alive. He was solid in his belief now.

“But what about what Shilo said?” Rey pointed out.

"He may have been mistaken in his account. I'll have Sivaan look into it, but in the mean time, take as many men and woman as you think you'll need and get those bastards.” She grabbed Poe's hand and looked into his eyes. “I know he is alive Poe.”

\----------

They had taken about twenty soldiers. The General insisted on a Y-Wing Bomer and a transport vehicle while Rey had insisted on bringing the Millennium Falcon as support. He almost didn't want to go. What if Finn wasn't one of the three captured, what if they've killed him already, what if they've taken them somewhere else. Rey seemed to see his turmoil and walked over to pull him in a hug. He hasn't felt this vulnerable ever. It was horrible. He was the man with the plan and all that, but with Finn he never had his cool. He loved and hated that affect Finn gave him. 

\----------

He barely slept a wink that night and when his alarm at 06:30 went off he was already wide awake. He decided to join Rey in the cockpit of the ship. Hazabor was coming close. They would enter the atmosphere in about 20 minutes. This was it, this would be when he really found out, once and for all. Was Finn dead? They entered the atmosphere about 40 miles from the outpost but they knew they were coming the second they got in range. The base started targeting their Y-Wing but it out maneuvered easily. The second the ship was in place it dropped a bomb on the center of the building. The transport vehicle landed and the troops stormed the castle. He and Rey landed as well and rushed in behind the troops. They had cleared the first level before they had entered the building. The Y-Wing had moved on to other places around the compound, patrolling for runaways. All of the First Order’s bases were set up the same. He knew the most likely place Finn and the others would be was in the long term cell block. He, Rey, and a group of people went down to the 5th level and found the door identical to the other doors that lead to the block. The door was locked with a pin password but they didnt bother. They rammed the door down with their shoulders. He and Rey rushed in taking different sides of the room. Poe ran in looking side to side through each window in the doors. Almost near the end he finally saw it. The face he thought he'd have to live without. Finn. It was him it was really him. He was **alive**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter may be a bit of a ramble but I tried to make Poe not seem like a little bitch, not that I wouldn't love that tho.


	3. It's Okay To Not Be Manly All The Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much Finn and Poe reuniting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it is shorter than the other two, and also later. I've just been really busy, but I do hope you like it!

_ He came for me. _

Pent up tears poured down Finn's cheek. He smiled widely.

“You're here, you found me.” Finn choked out of his dry throat surprised. Poe's lip started to tremble. He looked like he was about to break.

“Of course I did. I'd always find you.” He said finally choking into tears. Rey helped Poe smash in the cell door and once busted Poe rushed to Finn and grabbed him. Rey joined the hug soon after. Five medics fly in with three gurneys. They scan the area looking for the injured. The medics see Christian and lift him up on the gurney and rush out. The remaining medics forced Poe and Rey off of him and tried to help him stand. He knew his legs were too weak, so when he collapsed he wasn't surprised. The medics picked him up instead. He was put on the other gurney and rushed out in a similar fashion to Christian. However he had Poe and Rey, looking at their faces was hard. He'd spent so long away from them he almost had forgotten what they truly looked like. He was saved. Right? It was almost too perfect that he felt queasy. But he looked at Rey then Poe and knew it was real. His best friend and the love of his life really did find him. 

\-------------

Poe felt sick. He'd let Finn rot there. He sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair holding Finn's unbroken hand as he slept. He was happy Finn was alive but he hated himself for believing he was dead. They should have retaliated the second Shilo had come back. If they had then maybe Finn wouldn't have been so hurt. Now that he was bandaged, he looked a cleaner. But the white of the med bay seemed to make how frail he was stand out. Looking at Finn now, he looked like a skeleton. His left hand had been crushed, the medics say it probably will never work the same again. He also has many fractures, but they will heal. His chest was the worst. He had so many cuts and scars overlapping each other, there were burns in different shapes, and healing holes in his torso where something was pushed through. It was all his fault, he couldn't get over his sadness for Finn that he didn't even bother looking for him God! He was so dumb. Finn was there for months being tortured while all he did was cry, and he couldn't help but do so now, out of guilt and all of the other emotions he couldn't begin to describe.  _ Is crying all i’m good for?!  _ He felt a hand wipe his face of tears. He leaned into the touch. Finn's beautiful voice blessed his ears,

“Why are you crying?” Poe wiped his eyes clean and looked at Finn.

“I let this happen.” He admitted.

“No. Don't ever say that. I should have listened to you when you said not to go.” Poe pushed Finn's hand off his face and looked away missing the hurt in Finn's eyes from rejection.

“Your they one who's hurt, I should be the one comforting you. I being weak.”

“It's not weak to be sad, it means your human. And, your hurt too. It may not be as visible on you as it is on me, but your in pain and its alright to feel that.” Finn ended, then grabbing his hand despite Poe's objections.

“If I had done something then maybe you wouldn't have been hurt, but instead I let you go and just cried when Shilo said you were dead.” Poe looked back to Finn, he was angry. “What wrong?” He rushed. Was he mad at him?

“Shilo that monster! I'll kill him!” He started to try to get up, but Poe pulled him back down, he kept thrashing to the point where a medic had to come over and help restrain him so he couldn't hurt himself. He just sat there strapped to the bed wiggling and puffing angrily.

“Finn calm down, what is it!?” He searched Finn's eyes and he calmed down a bit.

“He's the one that betrayed us. He led us into the trap, for money! I trusted him! We all did. He got his own wife killed for a few pieces of silver. His own wife Poe. Melinda was just shot through the chest and he didn't blink an eye.” Finn seemed to deflate.  _ That piece of shit, I might kill Shilo before Finn can. I'm gonna have a talk with the general. Shilo will be held accountable. I'll make sure of it.  _ “How's Christian?” Finn asked. 

“He's in surgery, the doctors are trying to give him a prosthetic arm. His wife had been to see him a few times before that. We also found Keeva and Melinda's bodies. Their families are arranging a ceremony next week if you'd like to go.”

“I would.” He says, Finn then looks down at his own hand. "Will I have to get one?"

“I don't know….. Hey Finn?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, I'm so glad your alive.”

“I love you too.” Finn reached his hand up to his face and pulled Poe's lips onto his own. It wasn't hard or long kiss, but it was perhaps the most important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I might do 10 Chapters? Maybe more, maybe less. It really depends on the direction of the story and if you guys want it to continue so....


	4. Better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospital stuff and Christian wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make Poe more in character, but idk I still like it.

      Poe went out looking for the General, apparently she had come looking for him as well.

“Has Finn told you anything about his time on Hezabor?” She asked with concern.

“Not really, but I've seen his wounds and their horrible.” He clenched his jaw in remembrance. “He also said Shilo betrayed them.”

“Betrayed them how?” She asked furrowing her brow.

“Finn said Shilo was payed to lead them into a trap.”

“Why would he do that, his wife was one of the soldiers in the group?”

“I really don't know, but when I had mentioned Shilo it made Finn really upset.” Leia crossed her arms in thought.

“Hmmm” she started pacing in the hallway we were standing in. “I don't understand. We will have to wait for Christian to get out of surgery and try to ask him what happened. Have you seen Christian recently?”

“No I haven't, only for a moment on Hezabor.” He hated that planet.

“Hmm, you should come with me to see him when he wakes.”

“Yes General.”

“How are you holding up?” Poe is starting to get tired of this question.

“Better.”

“That's good to hear, and I hope you're not just telling me what I want to hear.”

“My boyfriend is alive and not dead, I think I'm holding up better than before.”

“Alright, tell Finn I'll come visit soon.”

“Yes General.” She gave him a smile and grabbed his shoulder firmly, then she turned around and walked away.

\---------

       Finn woke up alone. Well not alone  _ alone _ , there were medics around just not Poe. He felt kind of ashamed that he took so much time from Poe. Poe was always there and it made him feel horrible that  _ he _ was the reason Poe had huge bags under his eyes and why he was crying yesterday. He really wished to see Rey, he hadn't seen her since Hezabor. Every time she came to visit Finn was either asleep or being treated by medics. Her timing was bad he supposed. He saw Nurse Yasei walked up to Finn's bedside.

“Hello Finn, how are you feeling today?” She smiled warmly.

“Better.” He didn't have any other way to describe how he felt.

“That's good,” she looked down at a chart in her hand. “I’m going to analyze your condition, then Dr. Zozang will check your bandages okay?” Finn nodded his head in agreement. She waves her little scanning wand-pen thing and it gathers data. She looks to the chair where Poe practically lives. She arches her thin tattoo brow and asks, “Where is Poe?”

“I'm not too sure, but it's good he is finally getting up and walking around.”

“You two are attached at the hip.” She shakes her head amused. It puts Finn in a better mood anyway. Her medical scanner beeps signaling its finished its search. She reads the information off the device and copies it on the chart. She then opens the lid to his bowl of untouched food.

“Finn, why are you not eating?” 

“I'm not hungry.” He looks away. She gets low and puts her blue hand in his.

“Finn, the only way for you to get better is to eat. You've spent almost a month not eating before you were brought here and your body almost has nothing left to exist on. You need to eat. I promise you even just a little bit will make you feel better.” She tries looking him in the eye but he avoids her only to see Poe walk through the door. The Twi’lek stands up and takes the food with her. Poe walks over to his hallowed chair and takes a seat. 

“I was gone 20 minutes and you're already off flirting with other people?” He teased.

“Something like that.” Poe looked concerned but didn't say anything. Dr. Zozang walked up with a bag full of gauze and antiseptic.

“Hello Finn, it's time to change your bandages.” He said professionally, he then placed the bag on the small wheeled table. He started unwrapping the bandage on his head. He took a pad of antiseptic and wiped down the gash. He then wraps it up again and moves on to his arms, doing the same as before. He looks at his hand making sure it is healing properly. The worst part is when he asked to see his torso. Finn complied and sat up so the doctor could access the bandage. The bandage seemed to stick to his skin as the doctor unravelled it, it pulled at his wounds. One part seemed to stick more than the rest, and when Zozang pulled it he hissed in pain making Poe clench his jaw.

“Sorry” the doctor apologized. Once fully off the doctor looks at each mark individually to not overlook anything. This was just part of the job for Zozang, but to Finn it felt demeaning. He remembers how he got every mark on his body, how he broke because of them. He feels shame for getting captured and shame for barely feeling bad when Keeva died. He felt shame for not keeping Christian sane, and he most definitely felt shame for letting Poe think him dead. So he couldn't help the tears of shame that quietly rolled down his face. Both Poe and Zozang noticed these tears and Poe grabbed Finn's hand but he pulled it away. Everyone just stayed in an awkward silence until the wrappings were back on. Once the doctor was finished, he looked at Finn and told him about his injuries. “Your wounds are healing nice, and the bones in your hand are healing nice. However you're missing fingers may be unhelpful if you want to shoot another blaster again.” 

“Oh…” Finn said. He guessed he would probably need a prosthetic then.

“And I recommend that you talk to someone about your trauma, you may find it beneficial.” 

“Thank you.”

“You will be able to sleep in your own bed tomorrow if you stay on a scheduled regimen of eating and physical therapy.”

“Really?” He was enthusiastic to remove himself from the too clean smell of the medicine wing.

“Yes, if you would like, I could even ask Nurse Yasei to be the one to deliver your food, and make sure you walk around.”

“Thank you doctor.” Finn said. The doctor bows his head in response and walks off. Finn felt better, it was the only way to explain how he felt. 

\-----------

     Poe didn't reach for his hand the rest of the day, in fact he left at one point and didn't come back for a couple hours. Finn was afraid he'd made him mad so when Poe came back he told him to sleep in the room and to come get him in the morning. Poe looked conflicted for a while but complied. Finn didn't want Poe to be mad he needed to cool down and sleep would give that to him.

\---------

        Everytime he saw Finn's wounds he felt angry. He would kill every member of the First Order and watch them suffer for what they did to Finn everyone else in general. It was bad at first just a gash on his head to be cleaned then his hand. But when the bandage on his torso came off he had to bite hard as to not cuss out every stormtrooper that had come in contact with Finn. It got even worse when he saw tears on Finn's face. He instinctively grabbed his hand in comfort for both Finn and himself, but Finn ripped his hand away. Poe felt horrible that he couldn't comfort him. It was better when the doctor said Finn was allowed to return to their bed. After the doctor left Poe didn't know what to do or say. He usually just sat there holding his hand and just talking about random things that popped in his head, but it seemed like Finn needed to be alone for once. Poe practically smothers him because when he's not around Finn he feels sorta empty. But for Finn's sake he left in search of something else to do to give Finn some privacy, though he would prefer to just hold his hand for eternity. He stood up and walked out into the hallway. He started walking to the command center, but on his way he sees the green of Shilo’s face coming around the corner. Poe clenches his fists and rushes towards him. He swings his fist but stops when he hears Organa call his name. He stops his fist inches from Shilo’s face and Shilo throws his arms up to protect his face. Poe clenched his jaw and stared at Shilo with hatred and disgust. 

“What the hell Poe!?”

“Get out of my sight!” Poe yelled,pushing Shilo back. Shilo looked around Poe and yelled to the General,

“He needs to be checked out!” And then he scurried away. Poe just stood there shaking in anger. Leia came up and put hand on his shoulder,

“Let it go for now Poe, he'll get what's coming to him soon enough.” With that Poe calmed down but still kept his sour mood. “Christian should wake up soon would you like to wait with me?”

“Yeah I would.”

\--------

      Christian was on the other side of the building in a private medical room, unlike Finn who had to share the medical wing with twenty other people. He and the General waited around for about an hour just talking about active missions and Poe clueing her into some base gossip. A doctor opened the door and ushered them in. The General walks over to the bed concern written on her face, she sits in the chair next to Christian's bed and brushed his hair out of his face. Poe stood back more towards the door leaning on the wall.

“How are you doing kiddo?” She said softly. Christian looks around like he's confused about who is talking and he starts smiling.

“I'm doing great, you?”

“Well eno-”

“That's good, how are you? Me? I'm doing swell, swill? Swall?  The doctor comes over and snaps in his face. His eyes seem to focus more.

“General?”

“Hello Christian.”

“Am I really here? I'm not just imagining it?”

“No you are really here, I promise.”

“Sure.” He said disapprovingly. He looks over the room and sees Poe then bolts upright then looks back at the general,

“Where's Finn?!”

“He's alright, he's here.” He relaxed.

“Good, I tried to help him but after Keeva.… You know…. I sorta just quit working.” He looked like someone kicked his puppy, and he had every right to look that way.

“It's okay. You're both safe now.”

“You don't know what they did to him General, it was horrible. I never saw it, but I heard it and I saw what he looked like when he came back. I'd never heard so much yelling in my life.”

Poe was about ready to throw up. Poe was now imagining every way Poe could have gotten his wounds and he was getting sicker by the moment.

“It's over now, you're both safe.” Organa assured once more.

“Good, would you be mad if I wanted a desk job?”

“Never” Organa smiled.

“Hey Poe?” Christian asked.

“Yeah buddy?”

“Do you thing I could see Finn soon?”

“Yeah, he's being released from the medical wing tomorrow and I can wheel him by.”

“Thank you.” The doctor came over and asked us to leave so Christian could sleep. Organa stood and kissed his forehead and he visibly relaxed.

“Do you mind if we come see you tomorrow morning?” Organa asked.

“That would be great.”

“Good” she said before walking out the door. Poe went to follow when Christian said something,

“Whatever Finn went through he won't ever heal from.” and the doctor shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was later than normal I just needed and inspiration for this chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it so far! I'll probably update within the week. Thanks! And when I say within the week I mean later today or tomorrow.


End file.
